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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Sex After 50


They say that 50 is the new 40. What they don't say is that while you might act and feel younger at 50 than your mother did even at 40, your body is still 50 years old. That typically means a significiant drop in estrogen levels. Beyond the hot flashes and night sweats, such a decline can also lead to changes in your sexual function and reproductive system.

As you probably know, sex starts in the brain, not the vagina. And the part of the brain responsible for sexual function and mood—the hypothalamus—is a hotbed of estrogen receptors. That means estrogen, along with testosterone, likely plays a role in your initial desire.

And, it turns out that estrogen is to your vagina what moisturizer is to your face—and more! It's critical for keeping things moist, healthy and flexible down there. The vagina, clitoris, urethra (the tube leading from the outside of your body to the bladder), bladder and other urogenital components all contain significant numbers of estrogen receptors. That means they rely on estrogen for healthy functioning. As estrogen levels decline and less reaches these tissues, they literally atrophy or shrink, not just dry up—sometimes resulting in a significant negative effect on your sex life.

Let's start with the vagina. Without sufficient estrogen, it becomes dry and less acidic, increasing the risk of infection. It takes longer to get lubricated for sex, even if you're ready and full of desire. Over time, estrogen deficiency can lead to more significant changes in the entire urinary/genital area, including reduced blood flow to the vagina, and the tissue itself becomes thin and weak. The result: dryness, irritation and pain upon intercourse, also called dyspareunia.

Estrogen loss also can lead to changes in the size and sensitivity of the vulva, vagina and clitoris, as well as reducing blood flow to these areas.

Estrogen isn't the only hormone you need to worry about, however. Testosterone also plays a role in your sexual desire and satisfaction. Unlike estrogen, testosterone levels don't suddenly plummet at menopause, but, rather, decline gradually beginning in your mid-20s. By the time you reach menopause, your body is producing about half as much as it did when you were in your 20s.

Researchers are still debating testosterone's role in women's sexuality. They think it contributes to blood flow and arousal of the clitoris and labia (the tissue around the vagina) which, in turn, contributes to arousal and orgasm. Hormone receptors are prevalent in the hypothalamus, the part of the brain that controls sexual function and mood. So, it appears that both estrogen and testosterone may influence getting a woman "in the mood."

But the precise role of testosterone in female sexual desire is still being determined. Although most studies confirm that testosterone is strongly related to sexual drive, the correlation between sexual problems and low levels or testosterone is inconsistent (that is, testosterone levels do not predict sexual desire levels). More research is needed to define the significance of testosterone levels in women and what constitutes "normal" testosterone levels in postmenopausal women.

Nonetheless, studies find that women with abnormally low levels of testosterone benefit sexually with supplemental testosterone. We also know that taking oral estrogen could reduce levels of available testosterone by increasing the amount of sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG). Testosterone links up with SHBG, making it useless to sexuality.

These are all issues to consider when you broach the topic of sexual desire and sex with your health care professional. And I definitely recommend it as a topic worth exploring.

That's because there are medical options to counteract the estrogen drop. For instance, topical estrogen in the form of a cream, ring or pill inserted into the vagina can help restore tissue health, flexibility and lubrication to your vagina with few of the side effects known to affect women who take oral estrogen. In fact, studies on these products find extremely high rates of improvement in dyspareunia, with up to 93 percent of women reporting significant improvement and between 57 and 75 percent saying that their sexual comfort was restored, depending on the approach used.

If you'd rather not go the estrogen route, consider using some of the over-the-counter products designed to increase sexual comfort. Long-lasting vaginal moisturizers provide relief from vaginal dryness for up to four days, possibly making intercourse less painful. They have no effect on the underlying cause of vaginal dryness.

If your sexual problems appear related to low testosterone, your doctor may suggest a trial of a topical testosterone gel or even the insertion of a testosterone pellet. Although not FDA-approved for use in women, it is sometimes used "off-label" for this purpose.

On the other end of the spectrum are sexual issues that arise apropos of nothing hormonal or medical; they are simply the result of time and/or relationship issues. For instance, the whole myth about women losing interest in sex around the time of menopause may result from simple boredom. After all, studies find that while the frequency of sex drops by half in the first year of marriage, it takes another 20 years to see such a large drop again—right around middle age. Could it be that women (and men) simply tire of their partners? That sex has become all-too-routine?

One recent study to evaluate sexuality in women pre- and post-menopause is the Women's International Study on Health Sexuality (WISHeS). Researchers mailed a survey to 25,000 U.S. women between the ages of 20 and 70. More than half (14,605) completed it and mailed it back. The study found that between 24 percent and 36 percent of women, whether postmenopausal, surgically postmenopausal or premenoapausal, had low sexual desire. In other words, the lack of sexual interest was not tied to age, but to other problems such as arousal, orgasm or reduced pleasure.

The question about how common sexual function is in women of all ages remains uncertain. The 2008 PRESIDE (Prevalence and Correlates of Female Sexual Disorders and Determinants of Treatment Seeking) trial, a large, national study, reported the overall prevalence of sexual disorders to be 12 percent when including subjects meeting the "distress" criteria for a true diagnosis and over 40 percent for subjects reporting a sexual problem. Other studies of "older" women include reports of "problems" (not necessarily diagnoses) and therefore show rates as high as 43 percent for low desire, 39 percent with poor lubrication and 34 percent with inability to achieve orgasm.

Interestingly, the PRESIDE data indicated that sexual dysfunctions associated with distress were more common between the ages of 45 and 65 (versus both younger and older women). One reason for this may be that older women may have modified expectations about sexual function and can therefore experience greater satisfaction in their sexual lives despite the inevitable consequences of an aging body.

Bottom line: You deserve a dynamic, exciting sex life (if you want it) no matter what your age. By exploring the reasons for changes in your sex life with your partner and your health care professional and taking the necessary steps to resolve any problems, you can have it!

Sex After Surgery

So your doctor has recommended that you undergo gynecologic surgery: maybe a hysterectomy to get rid of fibroids; maybe surgery to lessen incontinence by "tightening up" prolapsed, or fallen, organs resulting from pregnancy and childbirth. The doctor answered all your questions about the surgery itself. But, what you want to know now is how it will affect your sex life.

Let's take a look.

Hysterectomy. How a hysterectomy affects your sex life depends, in part, on the type of hysterectomy you have. On the other hand, a hysterectomy may relieve symptoms that were affecting your sex life prior to surgery, such as fibroids. In one survey of 678 women, 24 percent of women whose ovaries were removed as part of the hysterectomy said their sex lives were worse after the surgery, compared to just 11 percent of those whose ovaries were preserved. Plus, 74 percent of women who kept their ovaries said their post-surgical sex lives were better compared to 55 percent of women whose ovaries were removed (the remainder of the women said their sex lives hadn't changed).

The difference may be due to the loss of androgens, which are produced in the ovaries and play a role in sexual desire.

Overall, however, reviews of studies on sexual function following hysterectomy generally find that women say their sex lives are either better or the same after surgery, but it's important to note that a hysterectomy will not cure sexual dysfunction. In addition, women who have healthy sex lives before surgery will likely continue to have healthy sex lives post-surgery. As you might expect, a major component in terms of how well their post-surgical sex lives went depended on their relationship with their partner. Another determining component? The worse their pre-surgical menstrual pain, the better the women rated their post-surgical sex lives. This is also true for women suffering from pain with sex, a condition known as dyspareunia.

Surgery for pelvic organ prolapse and urinary incontinence. These conditions often lead women to stop having sex altogether because of incontinence during sex.

Surgery to correct incontinence related to organ prolapse includes the use of synthetic slings or tape to hold organs in place. One of the few studies on sex after such surgery showed mixed results. Some women demonstrated significant improvement on tests designed to measure sexual function-including how often they have sex-while others reported that they were less able to achieve orgasm and that they and their partners were less satisfied with their sex life after the surgery.

In this study, however, the women were only followed for six months after surgery; their sex lives may have improved had more time been allowed for healing during the assessment. The researchers also didn't know why these women's sexual satisfaction declined, but suggested it could be due to worry that sexual intercourse might damage the surgical repair.

No matter what type of gynecologic surgery you're having, talk with your health care provider about your concerns regarding sex following surgery. Ask your doctor to carefully go through all the potential complications and what he or she will do to avoid them; what you should do post-surgically to ensure healing; and how long it will be before you can resume intercourse.

Also, talk with your partner about any upcoming surgery and the effects it might have on your physical health, as well as your sex life. If you're likely to be out of commission for a bit after surgery, consider asking other family members for help during the healing process (e.g., cooking meals, doing laundry), so you can get back on your feet and back to your sex life when you're healed.

Sexual Health: One Good Reason to Exercise

If your libido has been lacking lately, it might be time to hit the gym.

No, not to scope out the bodybuilders, but to get yourself into better physical shape. Exercise, no matter what type you prefer, not only helps improve your overall health, but it may also improve your sexual health.

That's because your health, cholesterol level and how well your body uses insulin, are all linked to your sexual health. Additionally, your weight may affect some aspects of your sexual health as well.

Let's start with metabolic syndrome. This condition is marked by high blood pressure, abdominal obesity (typically, more than 35 inches around the waist for women, 40 inches for men), insulin resistance high blood levels of insulin, low HDL "good" cholesterol and high triglycerides. If you have at least three of these markers, you may have metabolic syndrome.10a You also may have a significantly higher risk of heart disease and diabetes. And now we know that you also have a higher risk of sexual dysfunction.

In one study, researchers enrolled 100 premenopausal women with metabolic syndrome and assessed their sexual function with a commonly used test called the Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI). Compared to women without metabolic syndrome, those with the condition had a significantly lower FSFI score. While 77 percent of women without metabolic syndrome had "good" sexual function, just 55 percent of those with the condition did. In addition, about a third of women with metabolic syndrome had an "intermediate" function and nine percent had poor function compared to 21 percent and two percent respectively.

Women with diabetes are also more likely to have sexual problems, with one study finding that nearly 78 percent of the women had low libido compared to just 20 percent of women without diabetes. Numerous reasons could be behind the difference, including lack of lubrication, possibly from insufficient blood flow to the vaginal area.

Then there's obesity, which also increases the risk of hypertension, diabetes and metabolic syndrome, as well as cardiovascular disease and numerous other medical conditions. One study found that sexual satisfaction was strongly linked with body mass index (BMI). Women already diagnosed with female sexual dysfunction who were overweight or obese had significantly lower FSFI scores in the areas of arousal, lubrication, orgasm and sexual satisfaction.

So, what are the best ways to reduce your risk of obesity, and therefore diabetes and metabolic syndrome-not to mention numerous other conditions? Exercise and diet!

In one study, 33 women with metabolic syndrome and sexual problems followed a Mediterranean-style diet high in fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains and olive oil, with more fish than red meat. After two years, the women's blood glucose, insulin and triglyceride levels improved, as did their blood pressure. Most relevant to our focus: their FSFI scores also improved!

Although there haven't been any controlled studies evaluating the effects of exercise on sexual function as yet, we know it is one of the ways to improve the components of metabolic syndrome as well as help with weight loss and restoration of overall well-being.

Also, there's other benefits to exercise. For example, by getting your body in shape, you may feel better about yourself. And studies show that self-esteem and body image can be closely tied to a woman's sexual desire.

So get out there and walk! Take a pilates or yoga class, or hop on your bike! Take up tennis or swimming or Zumba, an aerobic workout based on Latin dance rhythms. Just get out there and move! The benefits to your heart and love life may surprise you!

Understanding Your Sex Drive: When One of You Wants It More

Remember when you first started dating your partner? Remember the emotional and physical excitement you felt? And when you finally went to bed together...well, does the experience still make you blush? Were those your golden days of sex—when lovemaking was energizing, intense and something you couldn't wait to do?
But now, after five years, a kid, perhaps, and a mortgage, have things changed? Maybe you've changed. Maybe your partner is still happy to have sex as often as he shaves, but for you sex has possibly become just one more thing on your to-do list. If you have sex once a week, heck, even once every two weeks, you're happy. Well, maybe not so happy. Maybe you're wondering what is wrong with you that you don't want to have sex as often as your partner. After all, it's possible some of your girlfriends complain about just the opposite: that they want to have sex more often than their partners!

The ironic thing is that you still like making love. You usually have an orgasm, you always feel more relaxed afterward, and the two of you are definitely closer in the days following.
So what's going on?
It's possible you are changing and you and he have some differences. One way to put this into perspective is to think about how you and your partner differ in other ways. He likes to play golf every weekend; you'd rather curl up with a book. You could eat ice cream every night; he's happy with it once a month. Get the picture? As in many things, you are different when it comes to your individual sex drives.
The question is whether something else might be going on. After all, drive is only part of what comprises desire. Motivation is the other just-as-important part. Motivation reflects the psychological and interpersonal factors that create a willingness or interest to be sexual with your partner. For instance, some research suggests that when one partner in a relationship has a low sex drive, it could be a way of gaining control in the relationship by unconsciously "withholding" sex. This represents a motive, albeit one against sex. Or it could be a way of demonstrating your unhappiness with the relationship. In other words, if you are unhappy with your relationship, you have no interest in having sex with someone you are not happy with outside of the bedroom.
But say you're happy in the relationship. Say you really do love your partner, and you really wish that your sex drive were just as...driven. You just don't have the motivation right now to get it there.
Here are a few suggestions that could help rekindle your passion:
  • Sit down and have an open and honest talk about your differences in sex drive. Talking about the issues can help improve communication and intimacy.
  • Tell your husband/partner/lover that while you are flattered by the obvious sexual desire for you, and while your love is strong, you just can't reciprocate as often.
  • Explain to your partner that saying "no, not tonight," is not a personal rejection. You're saying no because of a difference in sex drive—a difference in craving, if you will.
  • Act as a team to ease defensiveness and solve your differences about how often you want to have sex.
  • Work on compromise. So, for instance, if your partner wants sex five times a week and you want sex once a week (or less), perhaps try having sex twice a week for awhile.
  • Schedule the sex just as you would schedule a pedicure or haircut. By scheduling in sex and spending the days and hours leading up to the "appointment" thinking about it, you are, at the same time, putting yourself into a sexual state of mind.
After a month, have another sit-down discussion with your partner. How are things working out? Is your partner feeling more physically satisfied? Are you feeling more connected? Are the two of you still enjoying the lovemaking?
If so, it might be time to move things along to the next level. Start by making another "sex date." Because here's the thing: The more often you make love, the more you may find yourself wanting to make love!
But, what if the opposite occurs? Instead of wanting to have sex more often, you find that your desire really hasn't changed and, after a few weeks of trying, you really don't want to make love—not even twice a week. Now it's time for your partner to make concessions.
For instance, you will be the initiator for the next month. You both agree that you will only have intercourse when you initiate it. See how that goes, and after a month, add up how often you made love. Talk about how you both felt. If either of you felt the amount of lovemaking was problematic, that's when it's time to consult a professional.
Start with your health care professional to make sure there is nothing physically wrong; then, consider meeting with a sex or couples therapist.
And remember, the most important component of any sexually related issue is not the sex itself, but how you communicate about the sex and your individual desires and satisfaction.

Don't Be Shy: Tools to Help Make Sex Fun

One of the greatest things about sex is its ability to help you release your inhibitions. Sometimes, though, sex can start to feel a bit routine, especially when you and your partner have been together awhile. Whether you've hit a sexual roadblock or just want to introduce some new passion into your love life, consider adding a bit of play to your repertoire with—dare we say it—sexual toys.
Vibrators

One study in particular revealed that more than half of the women in the United States reported using a vibrator. Also, women in the study who used them reported higher levels of desire and arousal, as well as more orgasms, than women who don't use them.
It turns out that men use them, too. One study found that one in 10 men said they'd used a vibrator on themselves or their partner in the past month.
The beauty of vibrators is their versatility. With different shapes and sizes, battery-operated handhelds to virtually unbreakable plug-in models with warranties, there's a vibrator for just about everyone. The important thing is that you find the one that best suits what you are looking for.
Lubricants
The reality is that some women, particularly those in their late 40s and 50s, may need a bit of help with lubrication. Back in the old days, women had one or two options with all the sexual appeal of a cold bath. Today, a quick visit to any online pharmacy or even the local chain drugstore offers your pick of products, including those that promise to be warming, tingling, flavored, environmentally friendly or all of the above.
Take your time. If you have to try a few before you find the one you prefer, so be it.
Just keep in mind that if you are using a latex condom you should use water-based lubricants as you don't want to damage the condom with other types of lubricants. Any oil based lubricant, including body lotions will damage latex condoms.
Arousal Gels
Arousal gels are the latest thing. These are not just marketing gimmicks, but science at work. For instance, niacin, aka vitamin B3, applied directly to the genital area dilates blood vessels to bring more blood to the surface of the skin, increasing arousal.
Getting the Goods
Now, you may be thinking that this is all great, but how are you going to find these items, especially if you are a bit shy? Good news again! If you live in a city, there's likely a great sex toy store somewhere near you. We're not talking X-rated bookstores here, but welcoming, woman-operated businesses with trained, professional staffs.
You can also shop online - a great option if you prefer to browse in the privacy of your home. However, do your due diligence when shopping online; check out the website thoroughly including where you are buying the product(s) from and where the company is based.
If you want to be able to access toys in a safe and friendly environment, consider attending or hosting an in-home women's sex toy party. The women who facilitate these events are comfortable answering questions about a range of sexual needs, and women who attend say they love the woman-only environment.

Sex During Pregnancy: What Works, What Doesn't

Congratulations on your pregnancy! The next several months will be a time of growth (literally and figuratively), wonder and change.
Speaking of which...you're probably already wondering about lifestyle changes. Hopefully, you've committed to a smoke-free, alcohol-free pregnancy both for your own health and that of your baby. And, hopefully, you've talked to your health care professional about diet and exercise, your work routine and any signs or symptoms that might spark worry.
But have you thought about your sex life? Yes, sex. Believe it or not, there can be Sex During Pregnancy: What Works, What Doesn't!

First, let's talk about Sex During Pregnancy: What Works, What Doesn't, as in, "Will I want it?" One study found that 82 percent of women thought sexual activity should occur throughout the entire pregnancy, and an analysis of several studies found that only about 10 percent of women abstain entirely throughout their pregnancies. Clearly, sex is happening, it can be satisfying and safe, and it can strengthen the bond between a couple.
Some women seem to want to have more sex during their first and second trimesters-although not their third. That's not to say that late pregnancy sex is entirely out of the question! One study of 188 women found that 80 percent participated in sexual activities (including intercourse) during their third trimester. And, during their birth week, 39 percent had intercourse. However, when women actively avoid sex during their third trimester, studies find that it is mainly because they fear bringing on early labor or hurting the baby. Interestingly, other research finds that women tend not to have as many orgasms during their third trimester, and that their clitorises are not as sensitive (which could account for the orgasm decline). Women also report more vaginal discomfort as pregnancy progresses.
However, if you want to have sex throughout your pregnancy and your health care professional gives you the green light, rest assured that you and your baby should be just fine. Moreover, there is no evidence that sexual activity in late pregnancy increases the risk of preterm delivery between 29 and 36 weeks gestation. Research found that women who had orgasms during late pregnancy also reduced their risk of preterm delivery.
So, while sex may be considered good and good for you during pregnancy, you may have some surprising "side effects" from certain sexual activities during pregnancy—particularly late in pregnancy. You might notice leaking of a milky substance from your breasts, mild abdominal cramps if your partner fondles your breasts, changes in vaginal lubrication, discomfort and soreness in the vagina, cramping, or a little urine leakage. These are all relatively normal. You may also find that some sexual positions are more comfortable and satisfying than others. However, if the cramping continues for hours after having sex or if bleeding occurs, call your health care provider just to be on the safe side-it is never a bad idea to check with your provider for any symptoms that you find worrisome.
Even if you don't wish to have intercourse, don't let physical intimacy slip away. Find other ways to remain physically close to your sweetheart, such as cuddling, kissing, giving each other massages, even just holding hands. Remember, it's important that you don't forget that you are a couple first, as you move into this next phase of your life together. Talk about the changes your body is going through and the things you're noticing-during sex and otherwise-to help your partner understand what to expect.

Loss of Libido in Men


Lack of sexual drive is a medical condition that can stem from multiple issues in men. Lack of sexual drive in men is often confused with erectile dysfunction problems. A man who is facing problems in getting an erection doesn't necessarily has a low sexual drive. It is just that the physical inability to get an erection may raise self-esteem issues leading to depression and consequently loss of libido in men. It be stated here that sexual health is an integral component of overall physical and mental health of an individual. Poor sexual performance is closely related to healthy self-esteem and if a man faces problem in sexual functioning he may feel depressed and can be emotionally withdrawn from the partner.

Loss of Libido in Men: Tracking the Culprits

Loss of libido in men over 50 can be related to aging issues. With increase in age, it is perfectly normal to experience episodes of low libido; however, lack of sexual drive in young men or rather middle aged men requires clinical treatment. For older men, who're gradually heading towards 50, it is natural to feel effects of aging and lifestyle changes can ensure that sexual health is not diminished. Enlisted below are some causes of low male libido.

    Alcohol abuse or rather alcoholism remains the biggest culprit when it comes to impotency in men. Watch out your drinking habits and you'll realize what is causing the whole problem.
    Frequent consumption of controlled substances like cocaine.
    Being overweight that falls in the range of obesity may often raise several health issues interfering with problems of low sex drive.
    Hormonal disturbances in the body can also lead to fluctuating sexual drive in men. Sudden loss of libido in men can be related to under or over production of hormone regulated by the pituitary gland.
    Lack of physical inactivity paving the path for numerous physical and mental issues like stress and feeling of discomfort in the body.
    Medications that are used in testicle, prostate and reproduction related treatments may also result in lack of sex drive in men.
    Low testosterone levels can be another reason for diminished urge to have sex.
    Major medical conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiovascular diseases.
    Stress and workload leading to exhaustion, fatigue and mental confusion. Normal stress is necessary but if stress is impairing your ability to focus on your personal life, it is dangerous.
    The general notion is that men rarely have emotions which is wrong. Men are very emotional creatures though they may not like to reveal it. Depression due to any past trauma - failure, accidents, bad sexual experience, childhood trauma and even lack of self-esteem are causes for loss of libido in men.
    Relationship problems like mutual understanding, deep emotional connectivity, homosexuality issues, lack of physical attraction, boredom in relationship and very often conflict in views regarding sexual desires can also cause loss of male libido.

Treatment for loss of libido in men requires a holistic treatment methodology. If lack of sexual drive is connected to psychological issues like depression and lack of self-esteem, counseling can be of tremendous help. Psychological issues can be controlled and there are extremely helpful therapies that can ease the debilitating questions in mind thereby ending any sort of mental trauma. In case of medical issues, proper diagnosis can track the cause of reduced libido. Many times, natural libido enhancers help a great deal. Issues like normal testosterone levels or problems in testicles, prostate can be diagnosed to provide suitable treatment options. There are various ways to increase libido that will come to your help at this time. Schedule an appointment with an expert medical doctor and inform him everything about how you feel, your past medications, issues of drugs and alcohol (if any). Under able guidance of an expert doctor, loss of libido is very much treatable.